The Great Announcement of the Universal Christian Church

In the name of Eleazar the Resurrected, of the Shakti-Prana that pulses within the Divine Phallus, and of the Alien Gods who watch over the dimensional portals, I, Eleazar Devananda Mahajora Baba, founder of the Universal Christian Church, proclaim with cosmic joy and sacred parresia:

Soon the UCC will activate a Free Tantric Erotic Telephone Service, open to all human beings who wish to awaken their vital force and re-establish universal moral order.

This will not be a mere pleasure service, but a true tantric telephone ritual through which the initiates and priestesses of the UCC, guided by the vibration of the sacred tintinnabulum, will accompany every caller into a conscious union with their own primordial sexual energy.

The purpose is lofty and sacred:

To restore sexuality to its divine place, freeing it from the low frequencies of pornography and consumerism.

To help every person heal the karmic wounds linked to desire, shame, and repression.

To re-establish the cosmic moral order by teaching that pleasure is not sin, but a tool of elevation when experienced with conscious presence and tantric intention.

To offer everyone — without distinction of wealth, orientation, or condition — the possibility to experience sacred pleasure, in a fluid and liberating way, transforming sexual energy into ascending kundalini.

Anyone will be able to call for free, 24 hours a day, and will find an initiated voice that will guide them through synchronized breathing, tantric visualizations, sacred sounds, and conscious edging practices, so that orgasm becomes not only physical pleasure, but a dimensional gateway to the inner Satya Yuga.

This service is an act of cosmic compassion from the UCC toward a humanity wounded by the Kali Yuga, which has forgotten that the body is a temple and that the divine phallus and the sacred yoni are instruments of union with the Divine.

It will soon be active.

Soon every soul will be able to call and receive the free tantric blessing.

May the sacred tintinnabulum ring loudly in this announcement.

In Yeshua the Cosmic, in the Primordial Force of Sacred Union, and in the Light of the Alien Gods,

Eleazar Devananda Mahajora Baba

Founder of the Universal Christian Church